#83: Sky Sports
I love the way Sky Sports try to make everything as attractive and extravagant as their football coverage. I once watched an hour of Ten Pin Bowling followed by an extended session of Carp Fishing. I didn't even have any interest in either event, the coverage was simply so appealing. From the flashy graphics to the hard-rocking opening theme (and the obligatory Poker company sponsorship), I was on the edge of my seat. However, it wasn't the sporting action that kept me engrossed to the end, but the Class A commentaries.
For almost the entire duration of the bowling show, the two commentators discussed the merits of wearing a well-fitting glove. The Finnish competitor was apparently setting a new trend by wearing a black leather glove on his right hand which left his thumb and two fingers exposed. His American opponent, on the other hand (literally - he was left-handed), wore a glove that only left his thumb exposed. Completely ignoring the actual bowling action, the commentators debated at length about the various pros and cons of such attire, before deciding that perhaps the American competitor had the right idea. Unfortunately, they decided this at the exact moment that the Finnish competitor took the lead with his third strike in a row. Thus the debated raged on. The American bowler really opened a can of worms (which is quite a difficult feat when you're wearing a leather glove) by pulling a roll of masking tape out of his bag (disappointingly, the bag was not covered in Wigan Casino patches in true Northern Soul style). He proceeded to tape up his exposed thumb so that he could really get a feel for the ball.
That's what the commentator said anyway. Personally, I had visions of him getting his hand stuck in the ball and going sliding down the lane after it in true Fred Flintstone fashion. Sadly, this didn't happen but his plan worked and he went on to win the game.The commentators were astounded. So astounded that they never did come to a final conclusion about the right kind of glove and just repeatedly discussed how it was a most amazing comeback. I'm sure that kids all over the country were rushing to B&Q for masking tape supplies before their weekend trip to SuperBowl.
The fishing show came across like an extended sketch from The Fast Show, but was the most rivetting thing I've ever seen. Having never been fishing myself, I was amazed at the things they use for bait. It's not just simple maggots anymore. It's peach scented pellets and bouncy little plastic balls and all kinds of fancy kit. I suppose if you get stranded out at sea, or in the middle of a lake, you at least have a tasty supply of fruity snacks and a toy if things get really desperate.
You don't get that kind of entertainment with worms. Unless you're a cat.
It all seemed to work though - I actually saw them catch a 30LB Carp - truly a monster of the lake. It would have made quite the feast with a bag of a chips, but they threw it back in.
Who needs mainstream sport when you can watch that?
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